I been in a really crappy mood the past few days. It's been a lot of things that have all be happening at once, putting me in a bad mood. Heather really upset me Friday. She had a get together/ party at her house Friday night. I asked if we could bake cookies, and she said that was fine, as long as they were the pre-made ones because she didn't want the kitchen to get messy because she just cleaned it. So I bought the cookie dough that comes in the tube, the kind you cut yourself. I got those because you could make more cookies out of them than the place and bake ones.
Heather suggested we use cookie cutters and make animal shaped cookies. So we did. They turned out being huge, and Heather thought they didn't turn out right because they were still gooey. I told her they were fine, and that they needed time to set up, but she wouldn't listen and got upset. The second batch turned out even worse. Heather got impatient and tried to take the cookies off the baking sheet right after they had just come out of the oven instead of letting them cool and set up. Well of course that was a huge fail. They were still gooey and she got even more upset. You are supposed to let cookies set up on the baking sheet for a few minutes before putting them on a wire rack to finish cooling. I bake all the time, and am always researching baking relating things, so I think I would know. Of course they all fell apart and became one gooey mess.
Then Heather got pissed off about the kitchen being a mess again, which was partly her fault because she wanted to use cookie cutters. I offered to clean up everything, and began washing the cookie cutters in the sink. A few seconds after I had started, she came up to me and was like "Just let me do it. I can do it much faster, and I know where everything goes. I am OCD about where everything goes." So then, I just stood there not knowing what to do. I tried to clean up what I could, but besides washing up, there wasn't much else for me to do. So then she tells me I could dry, so I dried all the cutters/pans and helped her put them away. She was just being a bitch that whole time. She was in a pissed off mood, and that then put me in a sour mood.
She later apologized to me about it. I think she could tell I was upset. That still does not change things. Then something bad happened. Heather's roommate's cat had jumped up on the table and was trying to eat the food. I jumped up to go get him off the table, and knocked over her roommate's bottle of beer onto her roommate's laptop. Thankfully it did not ruin her laptop, but I felt so bad. I barely even know her roommate, so that happening made me feel horrible.
I just really hate hanging out with Heather. I would like to try and be friends with her, but we are such opposite people. I can honestly only take so much of her. We have nothing in common except the music we listen to. I feel like every time I hang out with her, we have nothing to talk about. She thinks I am shy, and just need to talk more, but what she doesn't know is that I talk a lot, just only about things I find interesting or things that I can give input on. The things she talks about are usually petty things. I just never know what to say. I feel like her friend Pearson thinks I'm weird because I am so quiet. People just don't understand about introverts. I am so talkative to the people I am close to. If you get me started on a topic that interests me, I can talk your leg off.
That's really all I have to say about that.
On other news, I have an interview with Volunteer UCF. It;s for their hunger and homelessness committee. I am excited about this opportunity, and hope my interview goes well. This segues into my next thought, which is that I feel inadequate compared with my other PLC members. I just feel like they are so much more qualified to be on the PLC than I am. I feel like crap every time I am around them. They are all so heavily involved on campus, and they all know each other. I really don't even know why I applied. They keep asking me what I do on campus, and I never know how to respond, because I do nothing. I feel like when I tell them I do nothing, and that I am applying for various things, they think that I should not be on PLC with them, and that there are better people that deserve to be on the council more than I do. I just feel so crappy, and upset. I just want things to turn around. The only thing I applied for was the Volunteer UCF thing. That is something I am really passionate about. Most applications for different things on campus had to be in by the beginning of the year and by that time I was just applying to be on the PLC so I didn't even think about applying for other things. There is really no way for this to get any better.
Also, if I do get this position with VUCF, I am afraid about being on the same committee as Todd, one of my fellow PLCers. I just don't want him thinking negative things about me being on PLC. I just feel like me getting that position on VUCF would... I don't even know what I am trying to say. Oh well, I think I have said enough for one night. It feels better letting all of this out.
It sucks being in such a bad mood. I just need to stay positive and think positive thoughts.
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