Letting go of control.

I want to get another cat. I know it's really soon, but I feel like having another cat will not replace, but help me come to terms quicker with the loss of my last one, and plus Lori needs a new companion. The only thing stopping me is my mom. She told me I could get another one, but it has to meet her specifications. I had originally wanted a full grown cat from an animal shelter since I know those are the hardest to adopt out, but she said no way. It had to be a kitten, and it had to be 8wks or younger. She wants a fluffy cat, and a female cat. She also wants it to be a certain color or colors. I showed her what I found on craigslist, and none were good enough for her tastes. It really makes me sick. This will be MY cat, not hers. She told me that as long as I'm living under her house I have to get the kind of cat that she wants, and that when I move out I can get whatever I want. That is such bullcrap. I feel like there's no point in getting a cat that I don't want. She's going to get attached to it seeing as she will be the one picking it out, and I'm sure won't let me leave with it when I move out. It's not fair or right. All I want is closure and to be at peace and right now, neither of those things are happening.

So Let Me Slip Away...

I am feeling so many emotions right now that I don't want to feel. It's hard when a close friend of the same sex admits that they like you as more than a friend and have always seen you as that. It makes everything she's ever said to me, every compliment she's given to me, every time she's hugged me into something more for her. It's just weird and confusing to go back and think about all the times she's talked about how pretty I am or whatever. And she was able to feed my negativity I have towards myself into compliments that I took as her being a good friend, trying to make me feel better about myself which were really her saying those things in an "I like you" kind of way. Wow. I feel like now that she's told me, things will never be the same between us. I can never hang out with her with out thinking that she sees me as something more than a friend. And it creeped me out when she told me she would have tried to kiss me that time we were alone mini golfing. I just don't know how to process this. I mean it's not her fault per say for feeling that way. You can't help who you're attracted to, but I just don't really wanna keep being friends because talking to her or hanging out with her will be really awkward. I told her I was glad she told me, because I would hate not knowing something like this, but at the same time, it has totally changed how I view her and it's going to continue to change us hanging out.

Second Forward Helix Piercing!

You see that gorgeous mint green diamond in my ear? That is my new forward helix piercing, and I am totally in love with it. My friend Sarah had been talking to me about wanting to get her cartilage pierced, and I told her I would totally go along and get something too. I don't really know what possessed me to say that, but I did, and I'm glad I did, because I am extremely happy with my new piercing! Sarah wanted to go somewhere else to get our piercings done but I told her I didn't trust anyone else in Orlando but the people at Dungeon Tattoo and Body Piercing, so off we went today.

I wasn't entirely sure of what I wanted. I finally thought I had decided on a normal cartilage piercing to match Sarah's, but as you can see that totally did not happen. What I really like about Dungeon apart from their amazing service, is their large selection of high quality jewelry. I have incredibly sensitive ears that really hate most anything I put in them, so it's quite a relief to have a place that sells good brands and high quality jewelry. I have yet to find that anywhere else in Orlando. I also feel like a lot of people look at price to determine where they go, and I think that can be important because there are some places who charge ridiculous amounts and do sub par work, but cheap is not always better. You just can't get good quality service and good quality jewelry for cheap, so think about that before you choose to get something done.

Okay so Monica who did my left conch also did mine and Sarah's piercings today. I really love her. She is so awesome at what she does and is very friendly. So Sarah went first and got her cartilage done. It turned out so cute! Then it was my turn. Monica had originally marked a couple dots on my right cartilage, and then suggested getting a forward helix. I figured why not? Let's do somethin different. I decided to get it above the one I already had in my left ear as opposed to getting it in my right and having matching ones. She marked a spot that I was happy with and cleaned that part of my ear.

She had me laying down and got everything lined up and pierced it. It's hard to describe what it felt like. It felt like a lot of pressure and burning. My ear felt so hot afterwords. It was the same when she put the jewelry in. It felt like a ton of pressure and burning. Pain wise, it was about the same as my conch or maybe a little less than my conch. It obviously wasn't the best feeling in the world, but it was totally bearable and something I would do again.

The placement is perfect. I couldn't be happier with it. My other forward helix was pierced really close to my head, so I was limited in what I could wear in it, but the one I just got is perfectly spaced so that's it's not so close to my head this time. I can wear pretty much anything in this one, which is exciting. Overall, I had another wonderful experience with Monica at Dungeon Tattoo and Body Piercing. Again I recommend them for all of your piercing and tattoo needs. Go find them on facebook and check them out if you are in the Orlando, Fl area!! :]