So this is gonna be just a random blog about random stuff that's been going on in my life. I went to today and got my conch piercing changed from a ring to a straight barbell and it feels 100% better. It had been irritatingly painful this past week and I had come so close to ripping it out of my head lol. But the bar feels better. So I hope it goes uphill from there. I also had my other conch taken out. It was definitely a spur of the moment decision but I am glad I did it. It was getting more and more painful by the day and the angle was definitely not what it should have been. Stevo assured me it would still heal up fine, but I knew it would heal up easier and better if it was angled straight as opposed to the weird angle it was at. I asked him if I should take it out and get it redone and he told me that was up to me and not his decision to make. I hate it when people tell me that! So I rephrased my question and asked him if he were in my position what would he do, and he said if I wasn't happy with the placement or whatever then take it out and wait a couple weeks and get it redone. So that's what I'm gonna do because I like the look of having both conches pierced. So I will be back in 2 weeks to have it done...for the third time lol. I was freaking out that it was gonna hurt to have it removed and a new bar put in but it didn't. I was relieved.
To be honest, I haven't been going to church every Sunday like I should. I know this is going to sound awful, but I would rather be in bed sleeping then having to get up early and go to church. And it had been working out because my dad had been super busy with work and stuff and wasn't able to go so I got off easy for a while. My dad had asked me if I wanted to go to church with him today and I was like sure, why not? I wasn't excited about going to be honest, but it was amazing! God spoke to me in so many ways this morning. We sung all of my favorite songs today and it was so wonderful. The worship was great the message was great. I just love how nonjudgmental River Run is. It's so comforting to find a place that won't judge me for the piercings I have, or for the clothes I wear or for the music I listen to. It's so great to finally feel at home. I definitely got inspired to do something this summer. I've been waiting to get e job, since I plan on being gone various weeks out of the summer for different trips and I know that most places especially when you're new won't let you take weeks off like I would need. So, I've been trying to hold out on getting a job until things slow down for me in August. Because I'm not working, I've been sitting on my butt at home all day doing pretty much nothing. I feel like this is a great opportunity for me to reach out to others and to help make a difference in the world. There are so many causes that I am interested in and want to get involved with over the summer. I feel like not working this summer has given me the perfect opportunity to do something. I'm super excited to see what God throws at me this summer.
On a more solemn note, I've been trying to keep my mind off family issues. I feel like the less my family talks about things, the better off we are as a family. It really sucks the way things turned out, and I hate having to be the mediator for everything. I feel like my parents, or at least my mom really hold me up to high standards because she doesn't want me turning out like him. I feel like I have to be a certain way for her, if that makes sense, like I have to make a's in school since he failed all his classes, and that I have to be that perfect child since he's not. I feel like she holds me to higher standards.
I miss having a brother. Dangit, I love him so much. All I can say is that I wish things were different and you can't force people to change. You can only try to reach out to them and continue to love and be there for them. Family is family and that never changes. They share part of your DNA, and that can't be changed. Other than that, I'm in such a good mood today. I'm looking forward to OVU this summer and camp. It's gonna be awesome :]
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